1. |
MEANderthal
01:19
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2. |
Never Comin Down Again
02:47
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Years I been flying
Retracing the same old lines
Looking down over scaled mountains
I'm so high, froze out my goddamn mind
I'm up here in solitude
Subdued by a lack of fortitude
To touch down on level ground
Gotta stay up man cause my down is really fucking down
Up down up down
Maybe one day I'll come around
Find my footing and rebound
(Nope)
Or maybe I'll just keep my head in the clouds
And get so lost that I can't be found
(Yup)
Time's sped, mind's bent, cycle continues
(And I'm nose diving)
Because I'd be lying if I said I think I could ever land on my feet
Crash and burn
Ain't ever clipping my fucking wings, got to fly
Crash and burn the only way I'm ever coming down again
No escaping the space I'm in
Soul and sanity both wearing thin
My environment is a cold dark mess
And I'm feeling less and less and less
So weathered by the shit inside my head
So snowblind I don't know if I'll ever find solid ground again
It's too late
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3. |
Head Hurt
03:12
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Head hurt
It's coming down
It's always something so my pressures at max
Yeah I'm bottling shit up so don't tell me to relax
Man fuck a deep breath cause it's a lost cause
Flying off the handle again displayin all my flaws
Ain't much different than it used to be
Still don't seem all real
Had some good days that I wish I ain't never felt
Cause now every day I gotta wake up again
Forget about that shit, and manage this pain
And it makes my fucking head hurt
Striving for what?
My hopes to get crushed?
To try to make things better?
Yeah I haven't had the luck
Used to try to be what I wanted to see from my surroundings
But that's only ever fucked me
No reciprocation, no reflection, nothing kind
Violent rejection, added stress on my mind
Mood swinging, skull stinging, jaw aches from the teeth clenching
Stay out my way is the message that I'm fucking sending
How you ain't received it
Guess I gotta make it clear so you don't misread shit
Internal pressure got me slated to blow
Like a ball of malice compressed
Everyday spent callously depressed
Been building up slow
So that acting familiar shits got to go
Cause you got me fucked up
Yeah now you're gonna get fucked up
Cycle of abuse
Your turn
Here comes the head hurt
Smash smash
Yeah head hurt
Smash smash
Yeah mean mug
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4. |
Built From Suffering
02:20
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Landed face first out the gate
Yeah it was wired wrong from the start
Better toughen up fast or you're gonna get picked apart
You can be quick with your words
Or you can just blow a fuckin fuse
Smash your world up, wear that shame
And spin this cycle of abuse
Yeah spin it
Head ain't right and it never really was
And life ain't good cause nothing that could work out ever truly does
How you came up yeah it sticks with you
It's carved into your chest
You ain't a failure you're just always being put to the test
No, not like the rest
Cause life is so fucked up
And these coward motherfuckers they
They ain't built like this
Fuck them
Fucking built from suffering
Is what it is
You've only been dealt shit from this world so
So smash it the fuck up
Cake eating fucks wanna act like they've been through it
Putting on a fuckin show, I don't know how they do it
So full of shit, these phony bitches make me fucking sick
Their whole clique can suck my dick
Cause we know they're fucking bluffing
Cause they ain't built from suffering
(So full of shit)
Nah they ain't built for suffering
(So fucking fake)
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5. |
Empty Jesters
02:20
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Guess I really had them going for a minute
Catching a big laugh then tryin to spin it
Got a few problems and all these demons lingering
Really I mean I just need something to stop the ringing in my ears
Doesn't matter If I'm drugged out, sober, alone or with my crowd
This shit is never subtle
And it's always fucking loud
So if you ain't laughing get the fuck out
Cause the head hurt is too fucking much not to drown out
Yeah I'm drowning
Try comin up for air
But all I do is laugh
Fall up out my chair
Using friends like rafts
I need something
Really anything to keep me afloat
Still no answers here
All I gots another fuckin joke
Wish we could just laugh this all away
Gotta grapple with your shit or else it stays
And try to remember what Nate always says
"Everybody pays, expect the fuckin same"
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6. |
Empty Gestures
02:01
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Most supposed to be there ain't
Some try coming back
Like they still have a place
When they vacate you gotta disassociate
They'll be back later though to pick your bones
Gotta hold 'em up by the throat
Yeah leave them hanging like they did you
Yeah let them know they're through
Walk all over me
No I walk all over you
Maybe nobody wins, but I can't lose
No I'd rather die than just take the L
Rather carry all this spite than look the other way
Despite how you're feeling now
Fuck how you're feeling now
Bitch I can't just forget
Don't care what you regret
Empty gestures
Nah we don't relate
Piss on your fair weather
Then I put you in your place
Get the fuck out of my face
Take your fair weather ass on somewhere
Empty gestures
Nah we don't relate
Piss on your fair weather
Then I disassociate
Put you in your fuckin' place
I don't care
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7. |
Seein Stars
02:04
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I'm so pissed, it feels like the sky came down on my head
I'm seein stars, they're burning up
Shooting through my eyes
I'm in the infrared
Catching signals not meant for me that I fully believe
Because reality is what you perceive it to be
I can't get no grip
Wish I could just leave it
Because the gravity of the situation
Is gonna be hard for me to deal with
I'm seeing stars now everyone's gonna have deal with this shit
I'm seeing stars, I don't want it to be this way
But now everyone's gotta get fucking hit
I'm so fucking pissed I can't see straight
Untethered burning rage
Something more than hate
I can't escape these irrational outbursts
I won't ever shake
Smash everything around me to pieces
Until everything around me ceases to exist
Yeah I'm so fuckin pissed
(You've got no way out of this)
How'd you get shit so twisted
All the signs, you must have missed them
I'm in the infrared seeing stars again
I must have missed them
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8. |
Pain Chain
03:17
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Good will and cheer not received around here
If the kids had a glow to em it would get snuffed out
Because what the fuck any of us had to be happy about
Bouncing around as kids sleeping couch to couch
Everyday takin on a new defeat
Skating through the night with nowhere to be
Court dates and police
Stealing from people just to get us something to eat
People around us trying and succeeding in killing themselves
Gets to the point you start seein the whys, the how's, and what it's really all about
It's the only way some people know how to get out
Addiction and stress, loveless livin hard under duress, nah not like the rest
When everyone ain't fighting and abusing one another
They're stealing from and using the fuck out of each other
Don't know who to trust when you aint got much
And the ones that do yeah they look down on you
So we took what we could from the cake eating motherfuckers that we knew
Thought them bitch ass, rich ass kids was too scared to fight for what was their's
Realized they didn't have to
14 the only person lookin out for me tried to OD
Luckily it didn't take them from me
Because the whole fucking world would have owed me
Something it could never payback
Now we're back on track
15 my boy hung himself but really bro we was all choked up
Got to remember the good times though getting into shit, cracking jokes
Oh and you know we was getting fucked up
For real that shit was fucked up
Could list a dozen names
But point is some people don't convey joy for too long
And a lot of people just feeling like they been living for too long
Shame most of em who let go truly had that glow
They just felt they had to snuff it out
Over time life seems to lose its fuckin value, huh
Pain chain
Pain ain't temporary
That shit is chained to your memories
Stack them up to see how high you got to get to blur that shit out
Go on now kid try to forget
Pain ain't temporary
That shit is chained to your memories
Can only put an end to it at the source
So you can see why people feel forced to wipe their slate clean
End their life I mean
No more feelings, no more memories
Yeah life don't mean nothing anyway
Nah it don't mean nothing to me
Got this pain chain wrapped tight around the brain
Fuck it
Numb it out
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9. |
Comin Down Again
02:16
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Another couple stacks down the drain
And another three days I can't explain
Gotta cancel our plans today
Yeah I'm straight, I just got caught up is what I'll say
I'm sure it'll go over really fucking well too
Ain't buying any of it
You gotta get right man
Because it's the same old bullshit
Ain't no way I'm leaving my fucking couch today
Had a lotta dough, but the dice were cold
So pissed off and hurting at the crib I gotta stay
I don't even remember doin that much man, what the fuck
I don't even remember getting that loose
Yeah I must have been real fucked up
Had a good ass time though, out with my people
Ripping, rolling, and talking all that bullshit
Just gotta grind out the next week and I'll be up good again
But you know I can't stay away from the booze, the blow, or the gambling
Ay bro what's good tonight
Come on man you know we're all getting fucked up right
Yeah until we see daylight
Alright here we go again
Yeah we're gettin fucked up
Oh buddy you know we're getting fucked up
You right, we're getting fucked up again
Meet at the bar, cop a ball on your way over
Oh you know we'll be hurting when it's all over
But when everyday is hell anyway you might as well try to get your kicks
Might as well get your kicks
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10. |
Fade Outro
03:21
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No last rites and I gotta say
There's really no part that ever hoped to stay
Welcome obligation saw it's day
Now no longer in each other's way
I'm finally free to fade away
Finally free to fucking fade away
True escape, real relief
From all the smiles and gritting teeth
Vastness and nothingness all in sync
No longer needing to feel complete
Void purposeless reflection
(What it means to me)
Ugly meaningless projection
(This is the only thing that's meant to be)
This is what it always meant to me
Nothing
This is what I've always meant to be
Gone
Nothing
Gone
I want to be nothing
I want to be gone
Empty, mute, tensionless, fulfilled
The burden of existence is self-willed
True clarity is unseen because consciousness acts only as a screen
Yeah so forget it all
Embrace the space
And fucking fade out
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